Rules of Football we applied when we were kids

I remembered playing football as a kid, we had funny rules we always apply to the game, it was really fun
1. The fat boy is always the
goalkeeper.
2. The owner of the ball decides
who plays.
3. If you want to be chosen next time on the game, you have to be responsible for fetching the ball.
4. When the owner of the ball got
annoyed, it's game over.
5. When you hit your toes against
a stone and you noticed blood,
you quickly cover the area of
injury with sand as a form of first
aid and play continues.
6. You can't dribble the owner of
the ball too much, this may lead
him to stop the game by taking
away his ball.
7. No offsides and there was no
referee.
8. There is foul only if you fell
and plenty of dust arise.
9. The two best players can not
play in the same team, so they
challenge themselves and pick
others.
10. There is that kid when ever he walks into field, both team tries to pick him
11. The best player is always in
the same team with the owner of
the ball.
12. To distinguish the two teams,
one of the teams pulls off their
shirts.
13.There is always a house which
when the ball fell in there, we
knew game is over. So be careful!!
14. Game will only be over when it
is dark and we could barely see
the ball.
after the game,we all disperse in groups teasing one another and sharing our experience.